Then and Then.

I forgot to post my pictures last night so I promise to do that tonight.

I was driving to work today and I thought I should share my weight loss journey from the beginning because you see, it started two years ago.  Here are some pictures of me 20 pounds below my heaviest (260).  OMG look at my chubbo face - just makes me cringe!

I wanted to get to 140 two years ago and I got to 182.  Here is my skinny photo:

If I had stayed at 182 I think I could have been happy (at least for a while) because I felt great and honestly, it wasn't too hard to stay at that weight because of the exercise.  Well, I ended up injuring my Achilles tendons - both of them!  So, I took some time off running and did Farrell's extreme body shaping.  Week 8 I injured my back and honestly, every.single.night I was in terrible pain in my joints.  I worked my butt off in class and felt good until it was time to sleep and the pain would wake me up.  Being fit includes pain but not like that.  I had to quit the program and tried to go back to running but couldn't.  My tendons needed a rest which led me to having last year off for the most part from physical exercise.  Could I have gone to the gym and done some elliptical work or toning work - absolutely but I got lazy.  So, here I am again trying to pick up the pieces.

FEELING GREAT (and excited)

Well, the measuremets are in and here they are:

Chest: 42 inches
Belly Button: 39 inches
Hips: 45 inches
L Arm: 14 inches
L Leg: 27 inches

Feeling really good but not sure why my thighs are not yet shrinking...  Pretty sure I measured in the same spot.  I basically look for my thickest area and measure from there.  So looking back at the first month, I have made some progress!

	Start	Month 1
Chest	45	42
Belly Button	41	39
Hips	48	45
L Arm	14.75	14
L Leg	27	27

And I weighed in at 198.5!!!!  Yes!  That is a total of 12.9!  So.freaking.excited.  I will take photos and post tonight.  Have a happy Monday all!!!

Work

I have had week full of hard stuff, mostly work related.  I don't like to talk about work on my blog(s) nor do I like to put anything about work on Facebook because you never know who will stumble upon what you say.  Let's just say it ended well.

I work at a local hospital as a program director for their wound center.  I work with great physicians and the staff are the best anyone can ask for.  I learn something from them daily, hell I learn a lot from them daily.  They are well educated and bright women, I really consider myself lucky to have such quality people to work with.  I have been in my position for two years and there are days I wanted to quit but lately I am so glad that I didn't.  It was like everything fell together and I could not be happier to be where I am at.  That is the first time I have experienced that.  I just think it's important to see the things one is blessed with and truly appreciate them for what they are.

This morning I got in a 5K in 35:25.  Fastest yet, woot!  It felt great - as in I could tell I am getting stronger.  I am really hoping that sooner than later I will be at a comfortable 30:00 5K.  I'll get there soon enough. :)  I also was very happy to see the number on the scale this AM.  I am not going to publish it because it is not weigh in day but I've made more progress so I hope to keep that up until Monday weigh in! 

Monday Weigh In

Monday inevitably comes around and so does weigh in day.  My weight this morning was 200.6.  While I was hoping to break the 200 barrier, I am still happy to be down 10.8 pounds.  Truthfully I was less this weekend but what matters is weigh in day and that is what it is. 

I discovered the 'My Fitness Pal' app and so far I really like it.  I like that I can track what I am eating and exercising and water intake.  it has everything right in front of me so I can't fib and that is the important thing.  The area that it really highlighted was that my body may be in starvation mode at times.  I have a goal of 1.5 pounds per week.  I'd say I have done that thus far but it's only been three weeks so maybe that doesn't mean much but to me it feels like a lot longer!  I am just glad I haven't had any real binge moments (that is, if you don't count my drinking on Friday night).  I do however have dreams that I binge on candy and pizza!  I wake up all flustered and upset until I realize it wasn't real.  Must mean I miss those foods in some way.  I'm telling you, my candy and pizza consumption was out of control.  It was like I was a giant garbage disposal, I swear.

Here are some of my small wins as of late:

• I ran two miles without stopping on the tread mill this morning.  I have not done that is quite a while and it felt really good.  I was that girl smiling as I was running today - looked goofy.
• I am down 10.8 freaking pounds - hell yes.
• My boobs are smaller - hey, do you know how much bras cost?  This girl could not afford new bras.
• My pants are looser, even my gym pants.  Actually this causes a problem at the gym because I am constantly pulling my pants back up which is annoying.
• We had pizza for lunch yesterday and I did not eat any - not even a taste
• Even less consumption of diet soda.  I haven't totally weened myself yet but I am getting there.
• I set a goal of 185 pounds by my birthday, March 8. (this one makes me nervous but it's a goal and I know I can do it).

So, I keep thinking of the positive things and it keeps me going.  I also keep thinking of R and H and what they deserve.  They keep me positive.  Even R works out each day after work and I am so proud of him.  He even said he may run the 10K in the spring.  I know he can do it, he is so much better at pushing himself than me.  So, I'll keep you posted on that front.  Registration is February 1.

Back on track

So, because of my total laziness yesterday, I got myself to the gym today.  It took me 40 minutes to complete a 5K but I completed it.  I've been SO TIRED at the gym.  It's like I just poop out and my distance isn't even that far.  So today I upped the carb intake slightly in hopes that I will be able to have a better run tomorrow morning.  I also am going to incorporate some cross training - it will make me stronger.  I want to run a 5K, no walking.  I can get through that first mile but after that, it's really hard not to walk at times.  I try to push myself but my energy level isn't there.  We will see if the upped intake helps a bit.

I told a friend of mine the only place I really notice the weight loss right now is in my boobs.  Hahaha, great for me, I don't know that R thinks so.  I keep trying to envision myself at my birthday, on March 8th and where I want to be at that time.  Truthfully I would like to be at 185.  Does that sound unrealistic?  That is 15 pounds from now and I think that is 6 or 7 weeks.  I would say that is around 2lbs per week so I don't think it's unreasonable.  I just don't want to set myself up for disappointment is all.  So I think I am going to make it my goal. 

A Setback I can Handle

I'm sorta disgusted with myself.  I say this because I have been working out - hard, and eating a very strict diet, watching my intake of everything, consuming the perimeter of the grocery store and staying clear of bread, pizza, starches... and then last night happened.

We went out to celebrate my MIL and SIL's birthdays.  We ate at a local restaurant, White Star Ale House (really good food/drinks) to celebrate.  That is where I proceeded to over serve myself in the alcohol department.  I drank yesterday and today's calories in one evening.  So, yes, I was celebrating with everyone else, however, I have discovered I cannot eat like everyone else and not end up paying for it later.  Today I was a total slug, laying on the couch half the day.  I did finally get the house somewhat cleaned up to force myself to be somewhat productive.  Ugh.  The good news is, this is one day and I am determined to be better moving forward.  The good news is I continued to be diligent with my food today and water intake as well so that gives me the strength to keep going.

I thought about my birthday coming up and I thought about wanting to do a half marathon.  Do you think that is crazy?  I have zero desire to run a full marathon but a half could be really great.  So, I'm going to think about it a little more and make my decision soon.  Even if I don't, I will still do 5 or 10K runs.  That I can handle for sure.

Slow start today

Oh goodness, it's snowing, and snowing, and snowing out today.  I only like snow for the holidays and then mother nature can put the snow where the sun doesn't shine!  H had an early out today from school so I had to leave work and pick the little spud up.  We have an afternoon of.... Star Wars.... again!  We do puzzles and play with cars and during the light saber scenes we have a sword fight.  He loves this movie and we watch it all.the.time!  Overall, it's really fun spending time with H lately.  There are less temper tantrums, more conversations, and overall he is more easy going.  Don't get me wrong, he still can throw one heck of a fit but it's less often.

While at work my whole department is on a kick to get healthy!  I am so proud of them.  Some of them don't have anything to lose while others, like me, have a ways to go but we started walking the 10 flights of stairs at work at least once a day, sometimes twice and let me tell you, my legs burn!!!  At the top of the stairs there is a sheet that you sign when you make it to the top.  It's fun to see who all has signed it since I last made it up there.  I am encouraged by their commitment. 

I also brought my blender into work today to let them try a green smoothie.  Overall, they liked it but thought it was weird.  I was actually surprised.  A lot of them wanted to add pineapple juice or orange juice to which I told them they could add whatever they wanted.  I choose to make mine the way I do because it is low carb and low sugar - two things that I have drastically cut down on in my diet.  I was what you could call a 'carb whore' so while I did not eliminate them, I definitely watch them and try to focus on good carbs like fruit and veggies and protein.  I don't eat breads or pastas but sometimes I sneak a bite of H's just to give me the taste and then I'm good.  I'm learning about moderation but I definitely have very little control so I try not to ruin a good thing.

This morning at the gym was a total struggle for me.  I know I need to add in some strength building moves into my workout because my legs were TIRED.  I got to 2.75 miles and had had enough.  At first I was disappointed because I was so excited with my results on Wednesday but then I reminded myself that I still got up and ran 2.75 miles while most of the world was asleep in their beds so that made me feel better about myself (hey, whatever it takes).  I really liked that at work my friend said she thought I looked a little slimmer in my pants today which made me feel even better about myself.  Small wins is what it's all about!

woot.

This girl ran a 5k this morning in 35:35.  Now, this may not seem fast but it was good for me!  I had such a hard time getting out of bed AND forgot my iPod so my motivation was seriously lacking on the old tread mill.  Fortunately there were two women who were having a conversation about who knows what, but their chatter kept me from focusing on my distance/sound of my feet on the rubber mat/pain in my legs.  Woot!  So glad my determination won over on this one.

Green Monster Smoothies = LOVE

I'm the millionth person to post about these but I can't help it, I love them!!!!  You can find all kinds of variations on the Internet to try but I'm going to post the smoothie I make.  I drink them after my workouts for their protein content and their filling ability.

1 0% Fat Chobani Plain yogurt
1 scoop vanilla whey protein scoop
1 banana
1 cup ice
stuff the blender with spinach

I 'chop' this in the blender and once it looks chopped, I liquefy it.  It is creamy, thick, and OH. SO. GOOD.  It has vitamins and minerals that are good for you, the yogurt has low sugar and carbs and the whole thing is about 230 calories and 3 grams of fat and 49 grams of protein.  It is so good, satisfying, and will keep you full for hours until your next small meal.  Don't be afraid of the color and it has zero spinach taste so try it, I dare you!

Mondays...

they are my weight in day.  I am so excited because I weighed in at 202.3 this AM!!!  Wow, I am so happy with my progress realizing I have a very long way to go.  So far I am doing great at getting to the gym in the early morning to work out and there are days that food is a struggle but I keep thinking of my end result.

This weekend we went sledding with friends and it was a work out!  climbing up that hill worked my legs for sure.  I am using the treadmill at the gym for the time being for 30 minutes and then concentrating on my core which will help with my running stamina.  A flabby core makes for a rough run!

So, some of the benefits of this loss is that my pants fit better.  not so tight but truthfully I hope not to be in them long - I want back into my smaller pants.  I keep thinking of my birthday in March and where I want to be at that time so I have an end goal in mind.  I really want to make this my year to work hard and keep off the weight.  I deserve and my family deserves for me to be healthier.

One week down

Well I stepped on the scale this AM and this is what I saw: 206.7!  That is 4.7 pounds.  I'll take it!  Small wins occurred throughout the week:

• Not eating popcorn at the movie with Ryan and Henry
• Getting my behind back in the gym.  Goal: Mon/Wed/Fri/Sat
• Not eating the chips and salsa at dinner with my girlfriends
• Drastically increasing my water consumption and reducing my diet soda consumption
• Climbing stairs at work with my friend
• Avoiding the candy jar at work and bringing my lunch with me
• Discovering Green Monster Smoothies - delicious!

I am sure there are more but those are a handful I feel good about that I can remember off the top of my head.  This morning was a first for me in a long time - went to the gym at 5:15am to get my exercise in before I started the day.  I still need to figure out the whole 'food in my belly so I don't feel faint' thing but I'm sure I will get there.  Just happy to be making the gym a priority after not making it a priority for a very long time - too long!

I'm kinda hungry.

Not gonna lie, but I am sorta hungry.  I crave sweet things all. the. time.  So, to help offset this I pre make little cups of sugar free jello and that tends to help.  I also get small hunger pains so I try to keep hard boiled eggs in the refrigerator and just eat the egg whites for some protein... definitely helps.  I also keep natural peanut butter around and have a teaspoon of that too if I get hungry.  But really I am trying to watch my carb/sugar intake, focusing on veggies, fruits, and protein.  Next weigh in is Sunday so we will see how I am progressing. 

I also made it to the gym for a 1.5 mile run/walk and IT FELT AMAZING.  I forgot how much I enjoy running, I always say that when I take a hiatus but I really do enjoy it and I hope to keep going back.  I am giving myself a goal of signing up for a 10K sometime in April or may.  Just need to find one in the area.

I thought about my goals and my short term goals are in 10 pound increments.  To treat myself I will be getting a massage!!!!  I love them and it's great for the muscles.  My overall goal is to get to 150.  I know, big goal but I'm hell bent on getting there.  I need to get there, for myself and for my family.

Small Win #1

I spent the day with a headache.  I am convinced it is due to my diet switch - less caffeine, less sugar, lower carbs.  But I can do this!

My husband, my son, and I saw the 'Chipwrecked' movie in the theatre today as a 'end of staycation' treat.  I was nervous, I love movie popcorn and I was afraid I would give into the buttery smell but I held strong and stuck to my guns.  I had 0 popcorn - not even one kernel!  Small wins.

I was ready for a nap/rest time after the movie.  I have been coming down with a bug and my head hurt, my face hurt, and I was in no mood to do anything but head straight for my bed.  After a quick nap (because my son insisted on napping with me, however all he did was play with his animals and make strange noises) my nap was cut short but my aches improved.  So I worked on cleaning and laundry while my husband ran to the pharmacy to get me some meds. 

I don't know what it is but I love a clean house.  And I don't agree with this:

When my house is clean, I feel great and feel like I can spend my time doing other things.  It's almost therapeutic to me and it's a great way to keep moving even when you are not in the gym. 

As I get ready for the week tonight, I am nervous.  I am going back to work where there are so many unhealthy temptations but hopefully I will remember my movie adventure today and know that I am strong enough to avoid temptation, no matter what!

A New Year...

A new me... well not really new me, just a me who is more in control of my food choices.  I have never been to an over eaters anonymous but I often wonder if I qualify.  I have often said I have an unhealthy relationship with food - I tend to LOVE it, it's just not always so kind to me in return.

I went to bed last night, reminded that I would have to weigh myself today.  I thought to myself, 'you should look for that scale' but I didn't.  So, luckily under a pile of towels I found the scale in a storage closet this morning.  Honestly, I would have felt terrible if I couldn't find it - after all, I am motivated to make a change.

Drum roll please.......

The scale showed me the number of 211.4.  Some have asked me, what was your heaviest?  Well, I am embarrassed to say I was up to 260 pounds over two years ago.  So, I'm not proud of that number but I am not where I was and I am thankful for that.  It also reminds me that it can be done, I thought I could before and I know I can do it again.

So, it's on.  I had myself a walk/jog yesterday evening and it actually helped me to relax a bit - I was CRABBY!  I sometimes forget the therapeutic effect of exercise.

So, Happy New Year friends.  I know it's going to be a good one!